DLQ

“A Dead Letter Queue for your social life. Every unanswered text, ghosted RSVP, and ‘wait sorry just seeing this’ gets retried with exponential backoff. Six months in, the queue is 14,000 messages deep. It is the unconscious of your iPhone.”

The Problem

In 2014 your friend Maya invited you to her birthday. You read it on the F train, drafted three replies, sent zero. She has since gotten married, had two children, and moved to Lisbon. The message is still “delivered.” Your phone is a graveyard of in-flight obligations that never threw a single exception. The queue is silent. The queue is winning.

The Solution

DLQ intercepts every message you fail to ack within 48 hours and routes it to a real, inspectable Dead Letter Queue. Retries with exponential backoff. Manual replay from the dashboard. A poison pill detector for messages that, frankly, should be dropped. We give shape to the shame.

The Retry Policy

Exponential backoff, because that’s how you were going to reply anyway. Each failure doubles the wait. By retry 12 you are scheduling replies into the next presidential administration.

Message Inspector

For when you want to know exactly why a thread never delivered. Stack trace included. Root cause is always “you.”

Pricing

TAM

The Ask

$7M seed for: 2 ex-SQS engineers, 1 ex-Headspace PM, and an on-call therapist who pages out when the queue depth crosses 10k.

Series A pitch:“We’re AWS SQS, but the messages are guilt.”

Every message is delivered exactly once. The reply is best-effort.