DNS

“Distributed Name Service for humans. You shake a hand, blank on the name, and we do a sub-200ms recursive lookup — friend cluster, then a LinkedIn cache, then a cold start off your college groupchat — and whisper it into your earpiece before you say ‘buddy’. Enterprise: split-horizon zones so your work Adam and your Bumble Adam never resolve to the same record.”

The Problem

You have shaken 40,000 hands. You remember 12 names. The other 39,988 people are stored under the string "buddy" with a collision rate of 99.97%. There is no fallback. There is no TTL. There is only shame at the punch bowl.

The Solution

A bone-conduction earpiece, a very small camera in your glasses, and a recursive resolver in the cloud. You lock eyes, we do the lookup, we whisper. Two syllables. Middle name if you’re on Pro.

Zone File

Every social context is a DNS zone. Split-horizon means the same query resolves differently at work than at your kid’s soccer game. No more calling your CTO “coach.”

$ORIGIN  party.saturday.local.
$TTL     12h

@              SOA    you. wife. ( 2026072401 ; serial )

adam.work.     IN  A     "Adam Chen — ML platform, kid Miles (7)"
adam.gym.      IN  A     "Adam Rodriguez — deadlifts 405, no spouse ?s"
adam.bumble.   IN  CNAME quarantine.ex.local.
steve.         IN  A     "Steve — do NOT say 'Kevin' again"
*.uncle.       IN  A     "assume boat, ask about boat"
buddy.         IN  A     0.0.0.0    ; sinkhole

Failure Modes

Business Model

TAM

The Ask

$3M seed. 40% funds bone-conduction R&D. 40% funds an on-device face-embedding model, because we would rather die than have “Steve Kevin” leak to another party’s zone. 20% goes to legal, obviously. Series A pitch: “We’re Cloudflare, but the origin is a person at a party and the DDoS is you.”