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June 13, 2026

Errata

“The newspaper of record — for you. We issue formal corrections on the things you’ve said. Inflated job titles, misremembered dates, books you claimed to have read. Page A2, every morning, until the record is clean.”

The Problem

At brunch you said “Cornell.” You meant: a six-week summer program at Cornell in 2014. Someone is nodding too slowly. The vibe is shifting. Your credibility is being silently repriced and you have no editorial recourse.

The Solution

Every dubious claim you make is captured by our editorial desk (your phone, listening politely). Overnight, our copy editors issue tasteful corrections on errata.com/you, indexed by Google and quietly emailed to the affected parties. By 9am, the record is clean. You are now a serious person.

Vol. CXII · No. 4,302Late Edition$0.50
ERRATA
“All The Claims That’s Fit To Retract”
Corrections · Page A2

In our edition of June 11, 2026, the subject claimed at Saturday brunch to have “read Infinite Jest.” He read 64 pages, the foreword, and the Wikipedia synopsis. Errata regrets the error.

In the same edition, the subject described his side project as “cash-flow positive.” The side project is a Notion page. Errata regrets the error.

In a text dated June 9, 2026 · 7:42 PM, the subject stated he was “5 minutes away.” He had not put on pants. Errata regrets the error.

On a first date June 5, 2026, the subject described himself as “6 feet.” He is 5′10″ in sneakers. Errata deeply regrets the error.

The Wire

Every overstatement is classified, logged, and routed to the appropriate desk. Severity drives the size of the correction box.

Today’s Filings14 claims · 11 retracted · 3 under review
08:14
“I’m basically fluent in Spanish.”
Languages Desk
MINOR
11:02
“I’ve been meaning to email you.”
Correspondence Desk
STANDARD
13:37
“I run 5Ks for fun.”
Sports Desk
MATERIAL
16:50
“Oh I know him — we’re close.”
Society Desk
MATERIAL
21:11
“I’ll have one drink and head home.”
Forward Guidance Desk
EGREGIOUS

Credibility Index

Your personal Bloomberg of being believed. Tracks rolling 30-day retractions against a baseline of “Things You Probably Said That Were Mostly True.”

$YOU · Credibility (30d)
61.2
Trailing
↑ +14.7 since onboarding
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Note: Spike on Sat reflects the Cornell retraction. Volatility expected ahead of Thanksgiving.

Pricing

Stringer
freelance
$9 / mo
One correction a week. Buried at the bottom of Page A14. No one will see it. That’s fine.
Beat Reporter
default
$39 / mo
Daily corrections column. Severity tagging. We email the affected parties with a quiet “FYI.”
Editor-at-Large
paper of record
$249 / mo
Above-the-fold retractions. A standing ombudsman. Full reissue of last quarter’s personality.

TAM

Total addressable embellishment
4.1B adults × 2.3 lies/day × $39 ARPU
= $367B / yr
Excludes LinkedIn (separate desk, infinite supply).

The Ask

$5M seed for: two ex-NYT copy editors, one libel lawyer (defensive), and an Oxford comma evangelist who will also handle PR.

Series A pitch:“We’re Snopes, but the subject pays.”

Correction: An earlier version of this pitch described the round as “oversubscribed.” It is not. Errata regrets the error.